For those who are coming here looking for information about TFA in ENC, check out the link to my favorite posts in the upper right.

The pictures in my posts were lost when teachforus migrated servers a while back, but I am slowly but surely trying to add back pictures to the most linked ones. That work will continue. I just finished re-picturing my two Eastern North Carolina posts.

I’m still reachable for TFA, ENC, or teaching questions at ms.w.enc [at] gmail.com.

So long!

What I said back in November holds true. We need you. We want you. If I can help you in any way please let me know.

<3  Mrs. B

“Ms. South” is a current 2nd year ENC high school teacher. Here is her take on the region and on TFA in general.

I ranked this region as my first choice.  Since I am from the South, I wanted to stay close to home.  I had never lived in a big city and was afraid that I would not be able to adapt easily to an urban lifestyle.  I also ranked Nashville and Hawaii highly.  I knew Hawaii was really rural!

Originally I was placed to teach High School Physical Science.  Initially, I taught Life Science.  During my second year, I began teaching a Physical Science

-Did you feel prepared to lesson plan? Yes
-Did you feel prepared to teach? Yes
-Did you feel prepared to manage a classroom? Yes
-What did you like and/or dislike about Institute specifically?

I felt Institute adequately prepared me to plan lessons and manage a classroom.  It gave me the courage to enter the classroom on day one.  However, I did not learn how to create resources or how to ask for them.  Also, planning a 50 minute lesson is very different than planning a 1 hour and 40 minute lesson.  I also struggled with determining reasonable amounts of work to grade.  I felt extremely overwhelmed my first 4 months of school.  I stayed up really late most nights and was constantly stressed out.

I teach in a small, rural, public, high school.  95% of our student population is black, 4% white, and 1% other.  ”Other” includes 3 Hispanic students and two Indian children.  Most of our students eat free lunch and live in the projects.

TFA is hard because you can’t slack.  There is no wiggle room.  All of your actions directly impact the lives of other people.  You can’t sleep in when it’s been a bad day.  You can’t go home and rest – you have work to do.  It’s a very difficult transition from college.  The freedom we had grown so accustomed to is no longer present.  Also, the amount of responsibility is indefinite depending on your placement school. Program Director expectations and principal expectations vary from school to school.  Every corps member has a different experience. Some struggle more with the issues that preside in their community.  Some struggle with the lack of resources they have been provided.   It’s difficult to pinpoint “how” TFA is hard because it is difficult for so many reasons.

I had a student threaten to harm the other students. This was a difficult situation to mediate while keeping everyone calm, safe, and removing the angry student.

In my class where only 30% of students were expected to pass their End of Course Exam- 100% of my students passed!  When I called them out one by one and they slowly started realizing everyone had passed, the energy built exponentially and the end celebration was the highlight of my teaching experience.  They jumped up and down, screamed and some even cried.  They were called down to the front of the auditorium during an end of year assembly and recognized by the whole school for their accomplishment.  Even the toughest kids were proud of what they had done.

I didn’t really have one my first year.  School was my life.  During my second year, I really learned how to manage my time and I enjoy my evenings and weekends.  I get to work out and enjoy the hobbies I love.  I also love how close our corps has become because there are so few of us in the rural area.  I cherish these friendships and the time we have shared so much.

I wanted to feel like I actually changed someone else’s life for the better – typical college idealism.

Yes, this experience has helped me grow in ways I never imagined. AND I really did change people’s lives for the better

Graduate School – Science Field

Anything else?

I figured that before I started posting these “interviews” with others, I would do one with me.  I know this might seem cheesy, since this whole blog is basically a giant interview with me, but when I sat down to answer the questions, I realized that there are a lot of things from my first two years that I’ve never  discussed directly on NMJC, so here it goes.

Where are you from originally?

I grew up in San Diego, CA and went to school in Santa Barbara.
What made you choose the ENC region? Where was the region on your preference sheet?

I knew I didn’t want to stay in California; I wanted to try out something different– a new place and a new way of life. I thought a lot about the Chicago region. Both of my parents are from the Chicago-land area and I have a lot of relatives there. I really love that city and have spent enough time there that it would be familiar, but still new and exciting. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that I didn’t really want to teach in a city; I wanted a rural region.  I don’t speak Spanish, so I didn’t want to go anywhere that would have a heavily Spanish speaking student population (looking back on it, that wouldn’t really have been a problem, but at the time it loomed large). In 2005, the only rural regions that weren’t in heavily Spanish-speaking areas were ENC, the Delta, South Louisiana, and the new-that-year region of South Dakota. Those were the regions I wound up placing as “highly preferred” on my preference sheet. If I remember correctly, the order was 1. ENC, 2. SLA, 3. South Dakota, 4. Delta. I think the fact that I didn’t wind up in South Dakota (which had a charter corps “class” of around 20, IIRC) shows how much they try to accommodate your preferences.

What was your original placement? What are you teaching now/ what have you taught?

I was originally accepted into TFA with a “Secondary English” placement. I had two degrees, one in History and one in Literature, and I was, I admit, disappointed to not be teaching SS, which I like more. At interview day, I interviewed with what would eventually wind up being my placement school for an English position. I fell in love with the idea of the school and then headed happily off to Institute in Houston, where I was scheduled to take the PRAXIS in Secondary English and teach 8th grade ELA. The day  before the PRAXIS, one of the Program Directors called me and told me that my placement school’s needs had changed. I was upset; I wanted to stay there if I could. She told me that they might have a Social Studies opening instead and I jumped at it.  I couldn’t change my PRAXIS or Institute assignment, of course. Eventually I went back and took the Social Studies PRAXIS and wound up being certified to teach both English and Social Studies. Over the years, I have taught:

Year 1 – Psychology, African-American History, U.S. History (S & H)

Year 2 – Psychology, U.S. History (S & H)

Year 3 – U.S. History (S, H, and Repeaters), Pre-American History

Year 4 – English II, English III, U.S. History S, A.P. U.S. History

Years 5 & 6 – A.P. U.S. History, English II

How did you feel about your institute experience?

I did not enjoy Institute at all (several of the earliest back-dated posts on here attest to that). I knew people who did enjoy the experience, or aspects of it anyways, but I spent the majority of Institute pissy and miserable. There was so much “group speak”; the chants were loud; I was sleeping on a bouch in Moody Towers in Houston (*shudder*); I had problems with my collaborative (teaching group); I was definitely not used to getting as little sleep as I was getting; etc., etc, etc.

BUT (a big but) I did feel like I came out of Institute extremely well prepared in some ways.  I knew how to write a lesson plan; I knew how to make a pacing guide; I knew what Standard Courses of Study were and how to use them. None of those things were true for most of the non-TFA new teachers at my placement school. I never did feel like Institute managed to teach me much classroom management, but then I don’t know what could. My (now) husband went through a traditional teacher preparation program and he struggled with classroom management his first year as much as I did.

For me personally, Institute was a horrible “experience”, but a great instructor.

Describe your school.

My placement school was in the most rural part of the ENC region, very close to the Virginia border. A small school originally, it has shrunk in enrollment every year since I have been here (from about 450 students in 2005 when I started, to about 250 this year) due to the economic death of the region since the textile mills closed and a charter school opening near-by. The student population was about 98% African-American while I was there.

People say that TFA is “hard”, but that covers a lot of ground. How (in what ways) or why has TFA specifically been hard for you?

Like, I think, many CMs I was a pretty accomplished person in my pre-TFA life. I was a good student, loved school, tutored the SATs, had held several leadership roles in campus clubs — I pretty much fit the profile. I had had struggles and setbacks of course. In no way was I good at everything and I had definitely experienced failure, but it had always been a temporary thing. If I just worked hard enough I could overcome it – or I didn’t work hard enough and told myself that was why the failure happened.

Teaching though. Oh, teaching.

I was in no way prepared to fail and fail and fail in every single way possible. Large and small. Temporary and permanent.  Minor failures and life altering ones. Failures I could change and failures I couldn’t. Failing my students. Failing myself. Failing TFA. Failing my school. They just seemed to keep piling up. I felt like no matter how hard I worked I couldn’t make a dent in the failure. Never before had I experienced anything even remotely like it. I had no idea how to cope with failure that frequent or of that magnitude. It was humbling, maddening, frustrating, and – often – destroying.

It still happens, too. I don’t feel it quite as deeply, six years in, but failure is still more of a regular part of my everyday life than I could have previously predicted.

What has been your worst experience in the classroom?
There are so many that come to mind. I could probably literally come up with at least one horrible story for each week of my first year (or even two!) teaching. The one that immediately comes to mind, however, is the time my students in my most frustrating class 1st semester of my 1st year, Psychology, staged a rebellion by all throwing their note sheets into the air at the same time. It sounds so trivial saying it like that, but it was at the end of the semester. I had come to the point with this group of (mostly) girls where I basically hated every single one of them with a deep and utter loathing. I loved them too, in a way, but they made my stomach knot and my teeth clench just by walking into the classroom. I had already lost the battle in that classroom- they knew it and I knew it – but I hadn’t stopped fighting and they wanted me to. I was stuck struggling my way through 90 minutes everyday of being completely and disdainfully ignored and sneered at. This was the class that found subtle (and not so subtle) ways to indicate that I smelled, that my breath stunk, that I was dirty, anything they could think of to get under my skin. All stuff designed to needle a first year teacher, most of which would hardly phase me now. So, by December, the tension in that class had built to a fever pitch (to me anyway) and they capped it off with this one spectacular display of disdain. My carefully crafted note sheets fluttering in the air in unison as they laughed and looked avidly at me to see how I would react.

I cried.

I stopped talking. Walked over to my desk stony faced, but with tears trickling down my cheeks and sat down. I didn’t say another word for the short time remaining in the block (about 15 minutes as I recall) while chaos reigned in my room. They careened out of my room laughing that day.

Gah. I still have a hard time even thinking about that.

What has been your best experience in the classroom?

Again, there have been so many. Not as many as there were failures, but these shine brighter. I think my favorite was 1st semester of my 3rd year. I had a class of U.S. History repeaters, most of whom I had taught (and failed) the previous semester. I knew I couldn’t teach the same curriculum to them in the same way, so I spent a good chunk of time basically re-vamping the whole class to be structured around Layered Curriculum units and mastery quizzes and test. It took forever and the kids fought it for a long time, but I could tell it was working. When the EOC rolled around 92% of that class passed. I was so damn pleased I think I might have actually hugged my Principal. The best part was that I got to go around and tell each of my kids individually that they had passed. Oh, that moment. “Guess what? You passed!”  “…naw. Really?”    “Really!”    “Awww, yeah!” As I walked away from one boy, one of my favorites, I heard him whisper to himself, “I didn’t think I could pass one of those.” I spent probably two or three days feeling like I had swallowed the sun. It was the best feeling in the whole world.

Why did you join TFA?

This is going to sound horrible, but I honestly don’t remember exactly. I had always been passionate about education, my experiences tutoring children of the rich and famous had made me long to work with kids who actually needed it, I had no definite plans for after graduation, I was flattered to be aggressively pursued by the organization, I was drawn to the idea of TFA. All of those and none of those in the end, I think. I just … wanted to see if I could.

If you knew what you know now, would you still apply to TFA?

Yes, I think so. If you had asked me that after my first year I think my answer would have been different, though.

R, who had earned the privilege of a partner but claimed he “rolled better solo”, was sitting in his desk all the way at the back holding up a piece of paper.

I squint. I can’t quite make it out … it looks like an arrow? Pointed at the head of Q, who sits in front of him? … What does that say?

Oh.

Hmm … One of Q’s hands is clearly occupied holding his book open and he is writing with the other, so he is definitely not “txtn” unless he is doing so with his knees.  (In which case I’d probably be more impressed than upset.)

At this point I seem to be the only one who has noticed that R has his snitch flag flyin’ so, rather than cause a scene, I head quietly toward the back to figure out exactly what is going on. On the way back there I am waylaid by a student with a question and, as I straighten from her desk, I look back to notice that R is now employing a new sign. This one is directed at the girl who sits, oblivious, in front of him quietly reading chapter 6.

I head toward the back and hold out a hand for the sign. He hands it over.

“And the other one.”

I get it too.

“What on earth?”

“I made them in math class…we weren’t doing nothing so…”

“You decided this was a good use of your time?”

He brightens. “I got C’s phone took away! Mr. S didn’t see her until I held up my signs. I’m like Batman! I’ll patrol your class for you.”

“At ease Bruce. I think Commissioner Gordon will handle this one on her own.”

“Aw.”

The awesome cheesieness of this card makes the 20+ hours I spent editing Civil War essay rough drafts this weekend worth it.

…

…

Or perhaps not. But it’s still a cute card.

As I pass by, the group “illustrator” had a question for his peers

“Dude, did Nazis have hats?”

“What? Yeah they did.”

“Oh.”

“What, did you just think they walked around all hatless?”

“I dunno, maybe.”

“They’re German, man. They were all organized and junk. They had hats.”

“Ok then if you’re so smart, what did the hats look like?”

“Um…”*leaning over the illustrator’s paper* “Wait, what is that guy wearing? It looks like a football jersey. One of the old school ones.”

“Heh, heh, Nazi throwback jersey.”

*****

Do you ever wonder what exactly is running through kids minds while you discuss deep, philosophical questions about dehumanization and assimilation in class? I don’t know, but I suspect that for at least some of them its “Huh, I wonder if Nazis wore hats.”

…being called at 12:00 by the office to hear the following “So-and-so will be out sick for the next week, his father will be by right after school to pick up work, please send what you have for him down to the office.” Lets see, between 12:00 and the end of school I have exactly one five minute passing period with no kids. I’m supposed to gather up all of the work for the week (tentatively planned out, but certainly not printed and copied yet), write out instructions with enough depth that the work can be completed at home, put it all together and send it down to the office before school is over, while I still have students? I greatly appreciate the fact that a student’s parents want him to keep up with his work while he is out, but likely if he is too sick to come to school he is also to sick to be very effective at school work, especially school work that needs a lot of explanation. For this reason I almost always wind up responding to the plea for “out sick” work with busy work (read this chapter in the book, answer the questions – I’ll give you credit for that and then catch you up on what I actually taught when you get back). Then I feel guilty … sigh.

One of my favorite things about teaching…

…specifically about teaching history, is when the kids bring me stuff from home. Every year I have kids bring in, of their own initiative, historical artifacts from their home that they think I’ll find cool. Confederate money, old magazines, Vietnam War scrap books, cameras from 1909, WWII era ration cards, I have seen it all. They bring them to me before class and wait for my approval in a manner that reminds me of a cat proudly depositing its latest kill on the front door step. I find it very cute, I have to admit. They want me to exclaim over the artifact –and it is not hard to do that because I genuinely like stuff like that–talk to them about it, be excited in the way they are about their family history.  I love that the kids sense my enthusiasm for the subject (feigned though it may be sometimes *coughGildedAgePoliticscough*) and care enough to bring something in to share with me and/or the class.

…

(A reminder plug for ENC corps members out there to consider being interviewed for this blog. I have a few responses already and hope to have the interviews up soon. I’d love to hear from you!)

For those reasons, I would really like to publish on here a series of interviews with current ENC CMs or recent alumni. That way when people come to this blog looking for “WHAT LIKE TO TEACH FOR AMERICA IN ENC” (Hello recent visitor! Turn off your caps lock.) they will get a more balanced view of the highs and lows of the CM experience here. Lots of prospective CMs come to this site and your answers could help them get a clearer picture of whether or not they should apply for/ accept TFA.

So, to that end, if you are a current or recent ENC CM who would be willing to answer some questions about your TFA tenure via email or g-chat and have those answers posted (anonymously, of course) on this blog, please either leave a comment on this post with your email address, or email me directly at ms.w.enc[at]gmail.com to let me know you are interested. I will set you up with the questions and then post your responses ASAP.

Please, please, please if you are an ENC CM and you are reading this, consider answering some questions or forwarding this on to someone who will. This is a great way to air your id about the program and your experiences without having to set up a blog.

4th block, 1:55pm, 10 minutes down, 80 minutes to go…

“Ok, now I want everyone to take one of the three aspects of a hero you chose put in your thesis and complete a FREDE for it. Remember, this is just an outline, later you’ll be making it into a paragraph.”

“Everyone good?” *pause to ensure no overt signs of distress* “All right then, go ahead.”

*Start circulating, down the center row first, D was a slow starter yesterday.*

*Bend down.* “D, are you ok here?”

*shrug*

“D, can you remind me what it is you’re supposed to be doing?”

*heavy sigh* “Writing a FREDE?”

“Right, what is your paragraph topic?”

“A hero is brave?”

“Ok then, how do you get started?”

“Um… I have to turn it into a fact?”

“Exactly.” *moving away, can’t stay here too much longer* “Ok, do that and let me know if you get stuck.”

*Start circu- oh, hand raised in the back*

*scurry towards the back, shoes go taptaptaptap….*

“Whats up C”

“I’m stuck.”

“On what?”

“Getting started.”

“Well, what did I tell you to do?”

“Um… write a FREDE.”

“And that starts with…?”

“A fact?”

*look up see two more hands and a head on the desk* “J?” * head jerks up* “Get going. L, hang on one sec. I’ll be right there, P, you too.” * C is staring at a blank paper.*

“Sorry C, you’re exactly right, you have to start with a fact. You’re writing about how a hero is brave?”

*Nod.*

“Ok, well, how can you turn that into a statement of fact?”

*long pause, C slowly writes something on his paper*

“Good, that is headed in the right direction.”

*Look up, L & P now talking, J’s head is down again, D is staring blankly into the distance. Quickly scan I, (student next to C)’s paper. Looks good.*

“Ok, C, keep going with that. Check with I if you get stuck on the next part.”

*Swing through the class on the way to the back corner, tap on J’s desk to rouse him, whisper “warning,” glance over D’s shoulder. Two words on the paper. *

“D, you need to get moving, we only have ten minutes left.”

*Head back to the chattering L & P.*

“Ladies, I hope all this talk has to do with your FREDEs.”   *Ignore sheepish looks.* “Ok, L, what is your question?”

“Does this look right?”

*scan read*

“Mmhm. Make sure you put a period here, but otherwise it looks ok.”

“P?”

“Read mine too!”

*scan read*

“Well, the F and the R look good, but your example is too general. Here, where you have “heroes are brave people” you need to put a specific person – real or fake -”

“Mrs. B!” *look up, nothing dire happening* “One second T. Raise your hand next time.”

“Sorry, you need to put a specific person – real or fake – into that example so that it is more realistic.”

“Ok, like if I say my uncle is a cop and he is brave?”

“That would work.”

*swing away and head towards T, notice along the way that F and H are done. K has nothing on her paper. D has two sentences. J’s head is up, but he hasn’t progressed. Field two quick questions without really stopping.*

“T, what’s up?”

“I raised my hand, but you didn’t see me.”

“Sometimes you have to wait a sec if I am helping someone else, but you shouldn’t call out. What was your question?”

*sigh* “I can’t remember now.”

“Ok , well if you do, raise your hand and I’ll come back over.”

*head back down the side aisle, split second decision, check in with K, D, or J? J has already had my attention twice.*

“K, you need some help getting started?”

*in the back of the room three hands shoot up, two heads are on desks, half the class is done, half the class has almost nothing on their paper.*

4th block, 2:00pm, 15 minutes down, 75 minutes to go…